It’s Dark In Here

Come to Your Senses

b. Go into a closet, close the door, let your eyes adjust, then, take notes on what you hear, touch, and smell. Turn your notes into a poem.

 

Soft cloth swats my face,

I have too much stuff.

Fingers grope at the dress that struck me,

it clings to my skin,

the hanger rings against the metal rod,

it clatters and with it falls the

stubborn fabric.

 

Stagnant air,

I inhale cotton and age.

 

Dust settles on my tongue,

when was the last time I…

a muffled thud, air hisses through my grimace,

sharp pain travels up my foot as

the little-used shoe rack attacks my toes.

 

My limbs protest the overcrowded space,

the curved way my back has fitted itself into the corner.

Time to get out of this damn closet. 

 

 

 

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2 Responses to “It’s Dark In Here”

  1. molly Says:

    Sam – i loved this poem! the dusty tongue especially. what is it about closets that make us want to get out of them as soon as we enter them? so i have to ask: is the shoe rack little-used because there are no fancy shoes or is it little-used because your shoes are elsewhere?

    i’ll poke around some more, but i thought i’d drop you a line in the meantime! keep up the writing, it’s free! 🙂

    i wrote a poem today; it went completely in an unexpected direction. it started out all “la la la…” and then went, “whoosh, over here…” and i went to follow it. the whole thing: structure, timing, it was all just a little gift. : )

    see you soon. xo -Mol

  2. natelevine Says:

    I love the way you juxtapose the internal thought processes which are much more casual with the rich use of literary devices and sophisticated language. This works really well. The images you develop are strong and transport the reader into your poem. It flows nicely, and your use of punctuation draws the reader into the images that stand out the most. This is a strong poem. My only suggestion would be to fix the ending up a little bit so that the reader wants more. Ending on the casual thought process belittles the strength portrayed in the rest of the poem

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